God help me

Helping Hunter with his essay on one of the most beneficial inventions of mankind. He chose...the toothbrush. Why? I don't know. But I'm typing and he's dictating. I keep stopping him from saying certain things because I don't want him plagerizing anything. He's like "Three words out of an article is plagerism??" and I'm like "Yes, because of which words they are. If you say 'and the reason' it's not really plagerism because those are just basic words." It's always better to paraphrase and consult your local thesaurus. Why couldn't he just listen to Mom and do the X-ray?? The toothbrush is, to put it mildly and gently, UTTERLY FREAKING TOTALLY UNINTERSETINIGLY BORING. Even our modern toothbrushes are boring. Nobody walks into Wal-Mart and goes "Look! That new Crest toothbrush is out! I love Crest toothbrushes, they're so soft." NO! No no no! This is so frustrating. God help me not to kill him.

Don't You Hate When Voldemort Holds Up The Line At Wal-Mart?

Why yes, yes I do.

I saw a gorgeous, single rose on my neighbor's bush today.
I picked it off and threw it on the ground.

I read the cutest card in Wal-Mart last weekend.
I bought it and ripped it to pieces.

I heard the sweetest song on the radio Saturday night.
I turned it off and listened to rockabilly instead.

My new friend composed the most beautiful piano song and posted it on Youtube.
I typed something new in and listened to Alex Day rant about Twilight.

I determined my day was officially miserable at lunch today.
It posted every that it was terrible later.

And I bet you have no idea why I did these things.
I bet you, the ignorant fool who is reading this with that dumb expression on your face, don't know the secret.
You don't know me, and the way I do things.

I did it...for you. Yes, you. Whoever you are, this was all for you. The "ignorant fool" previously mentioned. I made my neighbor miserable because I couldn't stand the sight of something more pure than you. I couldn't stand the thought of giving someone one more opportunity to express affection for anyone better than you. I couldn't stand giving radio people another listener, because that song shouldn't be for anyone but you. I watched mindless things instead of meaningful music because you weren't there to share it; you weren't around to hear it too. I hated my day because you weren't in it, you were too busy, and I'm miserable without you.

You're not ignorant, you're not a fool. You're not naive or weak or mindless. You, because you are who you are (which happens to be you), are a borderline unique personality. You may be almost my identical twin, or someone else's, whether you know them or not. But just because you're similar doesn't make you the same. So you're still unique.

Beautiful or handsome, intelligent or average, tall or short, skinny or voluptuous, A or B type, outgoing or shy, extrovert or introvert, loved by many or the outcast, my best friend or my worst enemy, I love you all the same. You're so vital, so important to my way of life and the lives of so many countless and nameless others. So...thank you.

Don't stop the world from turning just to stay in a perfect moment. Remember it and accept the change. Or keep going and you might get lucky. It might last forever.

I wrote that. Just now, as I had enough inspiration to post again. This is for all my friends and family and loved ones. Especially Ana, and my mum. Now what I DON'T want you to do is take this, copy it, and paste it in an email to start a sweet and emotional forwarding chain. NO. You do, and I swear I'll find out, hunt you down, and punish you. I want this to be inspiration for you so you can write an original one. This is NOT a take-it-and-paste-it kind of thing where it's a "Things For You To Steal" free for all. Absolutely not. With that said, and much seriousness injected into my words, I must leave you. Contemplate, marinate, leave to take a quick shower because you have a long day tomorrow I don't care. Just don't take this. It's mine, and if I found that someone had taken it and posted it somewhere else without my permission. I really would cry. I would cry and scream and get it back. I would fight for my rights with extended and well sharpened claws of relentlessness and mercilessness and viciousness. Oh yes. I would.

<3 u! TTYL ppls! (Love you! Talk to you later people(s))

I Feel Good (duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh)

I got a new bedroom set! It's so pretty, it's all dark almost black wood and I loooooooove it with multiple o's. It's got a trundle bed, and the headboard has bookshelves and two little nooks in the sides. The trundle can be used for storage (like it is now) or as a bed. The nightstand is beautiful, with two deep drawers. It has one of the long (not tall) dressers with a mirror. Haven't put the mirror on yet but trust me, I will. It also comes with an entertainment center with shelves and cabinet doors, but you put the tv on the very top. That is in our living room seeing as my room isn't even big enough to hold it. Plus it looks really good in there with our new couch. But once we move back into our house (and out of this apartment) the entire set will be in my room. Oooh, it makes me fuzzy inside sitting on my bed now and writing about it.

Missed church today because Mom and Hunter went camping at Belk Scout Camp up in Midland this weekend and got back this morning about an hour or two ago. Happy to see them? Yes. I missed them a little. I'm, um, what's the word for when you wish you had been able to and not missed something? I'm that because today in my Bible Study class (we have like five girls who do show up sometimes, and often just two or three of us manage to come) we were going to decorate our little space. Sad face. But it's okay, I guess. I'll be there next week. And I have my first basketball practice on Wednesday (playing with my church) so I'm kind of excited about that. In my study bible I stopped just as it became Exodus 26. Making progress, and learning lots of things I didn't know about the bible and myself. Sometimes it makes me feel good, sometimes it makes me feel freaked out. But it's good.

"Don't ever expect the unexpected, because then it's not unexpected, it's expected, and the previously expected is unexpected, and you're still not expecting the unexpected you're just expecting something different, and often it ends up the normal expectations were correct and the whole unexpected ordeal is pointless."
                               -Of course I'm the one who always says that

P.S.- The title is that song that goes I feel good, so good, I got you (with the trumpets and stuff, you know what I'm tlaking about, that old song)

Sleepovers and Inadequate Boyfriends

Okay, so tonight my cousin Taylor is spending the night (I actually don't know why, but who cares) and we've been, uh, talking. She has a boyfriend, his name is Montel. He really likes her. I mean REALLY likes her. And lately she's been, uh, thinking about breaking up with him. More like screaming about it. Apparently he doesn't call or text enough, acts stupid all the time, has a big ego, and is "trying" her. I think Montel's pretty nice. He's funny and not the complete idiot he could be. As I'm writing this and she's going on about everything from her boyfriend to who she could date instead to how popular she is, I'm thinking about how little she appreciates the boys who like her and her friends.

MLS

MLS, and it hurts to say it. Today my life sucks, completely and absolutely. I need new jeans, I wanted to go to the mall but probably can't, I would have gone with Bledsoe had he been able to (still don't know why he can't), I feel even more fat after having two cute little Pillsbury cinnamon rolls for breakfast (mom's fault), and I'm so bored I'm about to cry. I have no one to talk to because Emily is two hours behind me and probably sleeping in, Ana won't email me back and I don't know why (getting worried), Bledsoe is probably doing whatever prevents him from hanging out with me at the mall, Breanna's always got her own stuff to do, Julie is busy, I don't have Tommy's number, I don't really want to go with Taylor because she always ends up annoying me to death and making it worse than if I had just gone by myself and we might see Montel (her boyfriend) and I don't want to be around a couple when I'm so alone. La'kia's got stuff to do. Willy is also two hours behind me and I don't know whether he sleeps in or not but we only communicate through email so...I'm alone. My mom wants to look at washers and dryers (appliance stores can't compare to Hot Topic, trust me.) My little brother is already annoying me and he just got back from his little sleepover. We're probably going to the mall to let them go on that bungee jump (them being my brother and his best friend) thing. I don't really want to go on it so I'll end up on the ground watching them which will SUCK. What else? Oh yeah, I'm doing basketball through my church and it starts soon and I'm way out of shape so I'll probably humiliate myself in front of a bunch of people. My school is having a talent show that I would do if my school wasn't full of ghetto black people (I am black btw) and I thought they might actually appreciate me singing some Corrine Bailey Rae or Lauryn Hill or Chrissette Michelle. But I know they won't so that's out of the question. Picture day is coming up (shudder). I'm still bored with our slow, substandard curriculum (it's only substandard for me). I can't even stand TV anymore, or books, or my computer, or even music sometimes (the last three are the things that have been most interesting in my life for a while, especially books and music). What does this mean? That I don't want to read or listen to music? It means I'm slowly beginning to hate my own life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to go kill myself or anything, but my grief has brought me close to and all the way to tears several times. I don't know what to do.

Babysitting

Stuck babysitting my little brother and his best friend. This is torture. Good thing I have my netbook. My phone, Skype, Rhapsody, Youtube, and good friends who'll stay up all night with me (kudos to Bledsoe for being up until one in the morning with me last night, love ya dude). I'm on Skype if anybody needs me.

Decreasing World Suck

In case the title confused you, go look up "nerdfighters" on your favorite search engine now.

So I've decided to dedicate myself to being a real loyal nerdfighter.

How you ask? By only being bitter and angry and mad and upset when I'm alone and there is absolutely no one to be affected by it. By being the best friend Ana and La'kia and Emily and Bledsoe and Tommy and William have ever had. By loving me as much as I can, and trying harder every day.