MLS

MLS, and it hurts to say it. Today my life sucks, completely and absolutely. I need new jeans, I wanted to go to the mall but probably can't, I would have gone with Bledsoe had he been able to (still don't know why he can't), I feel even more fat after having two cute little Pillsbury cinnamon rolls for breakfast (mom's fault), and I'm so bored I'm about to cry. I have no one to talk to because Emily is two hours behind me and probably sleeping in, Ana won't email me back and I don't know why (getting worried), Bledsoe is probably doing whatever prevents him from hanging out with me at the mall, Breanna's always got her own stuff to do, Julie is busy, I don't have Tommy's number, I don't really want to go with Taylor because she always ends up annoying me to death and making it worse than if I had just gone by myself and we might see Montel (her boyfriend) and I don't want to be around a couple when I'm so alone. La'kia's got stuff to do. Willy is also two hours behind me and I don't know whether he sleeps in or not but we only communicate through email so...I'm alone. My mom wants to look at washers and dryers (appliance stores can't compare to Hot Topic, trust me.) My little brother is already annoying me and he just got back from his little sleepover. We're probably going to the mall to let them go on that bungee jump (them being my brother and his best friend) thing. I don't really want to go on it so I'll end up on the ground watching them which will SUCK. What else? Oh yeah, I'm doing basketball through my church and it starts soon and I'm way out of shape so I'll probably humiliate myself in front of a bunch of people. My school is having a talent show that I would do if my school wasn't full of ghetto black people (I am black btw) and I thought they might actually appreciate me singing some Corrine Bailey Rae or Lauryn Hill or Chrissette Michelle. But I know they won't so that's out of the question. Picture day is coming up (shudder). I'm still bored with our slow, substandard curriculum (it's only substandard for me). I can't even stand TV anymore, or books, or my computer, or even music sometimes (the last three are the things that have been most interesting in my life for a while, especially books and music). What does this mean? That I don't want to read or listen to music? It means I'm slowly beginning to hate my own life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to go kill myself or anything, but my grief has brought me close to and all the way to tears several times. I don't know what to do.